Just me

I think that since no one reads this I am going to make it my personal forum to help me "get my feelings out". I am at work and it is a Monday morning. I used to like Mondays. A fresh new start to a new week but as I grow older I am not so eager for it to be Monday. My co-worker Heather is off today as is my boss. So I am holding the fort down with our accountant who is upstairs. It is still warm and mugging but I have an air conditioner so I am okay. It is going to be a dull and dreary day but we are blessed that hurricane Bill didn't hit as hard as people thought. I guess prayers were answered.

I went scrap booking this weekend. I was suppose to go Friday & Saturday but I was not well on Friday. Saturday started off the same but I forced myself to go. It started off slow but by supper time I was feeling okay. Amy, my other buddy was scrappin beside me. She is so sweet and so accepting of our friendship. I have had a hard time thinking I could be any ones friend with the attitude that I have had lately.

I just saw Julie and Julia. I loved it. I was impressed by the blogging that Julie did. I loved her acting and the fact that she was so dedicated to her example Julia Child. Meryl Streep was so good as Julia. It was altogether a great show. I would go and see it again which is a first for me. I went with my good friend Deb. She is such a great friend and an inspiration to me.

My heart is heavy with the lack of direction in my life. It seems the more anxious I get the more pounds that find me. I am at an all time high in my weight. Heavier than I was with any of my children. I know my children and Mike say I am great but I know that even they can see my weight growing. I thank them for overlooking the picture they see before them. I know that they love me because they can see me from the inside.

I so feel like I want to be anywhere but where I am. I am not sure where that feeling is coming from but it is there. I know that Heavenly Father answers prayers and that I have the comforter with me. But, with all that is going wrong in the world both near and far, sometimes it is hard to feel. I am thankful for the positive examples before me, but I think my fibro fog is getting thicker or my excuses are getting stronger and stupider (if that is a word).

I am sorry for anyone who is reading this. It is where I am going to vent. Even over all that I feel I am going through I know that God lives and He knows me and He knows of my challenges. I also know that I have to open that door to feel of Him. I know that my Saviour is true and He did sacrifice Himself for me. I am sad that He went through such pain for the stupid things that I am going through right now. I love them and I am so grateful to belong to a church and to have a testimony as to the truthfulness of it.

Work is calling me. Ta ta for now.